Who Can Say Where The Road Goes
by breakaway27
Summary: The last thing Nessie remembers of her family is them screaming for her and Jake to run.
1. Chapter 1

I sat up in Jake's arms, ignoring the pain radiating throughout my stomach.

"Ness, honey, just lay down," he urged. "Sitting up will make the bleeding worse."

I grimaced and ignored the tears already flowing down my face. "Why can't I carry our baby, Jake?" I asked with a weak voice. "This is the fourth miscarriage. I should be able to give you a baby!"

He kissed the top of my head. "We will have a baby, Nessie. I promise you. Maybe we should take a break after this. We're due for a move soon, babe."

Glaring at the ground, I found my way closer to him. "Do you ever feel like they're all still alive, Jake?" I whispered a moment later.

He rubbed my back. "Sometimes…. Then I remind myself that if one of them is they're doing every single thing they can to find you."

"I miss my mama."

Jake wiped at my tears and hugged me tight, murmuring sweet nothings into my ear. "Are you hungry?" he asked when my stomach growled.

"A little, but I don't think I can keep anything down right now," I said honestly.

A knock on the front door interrupted whatever he was about to say. "Ignore it. It's probably just a salesman. Now do you want to try some soup?"

I shook my head and snuggled into his warm chest. "Just hold me."

"Of course, honey."

When I woke next Jake was rushing around our tiny home in the middle of the woods, shoving our belongings into bags. "Ness, can you call the airport, please?"

"First flight out?" I asked. I had become so accustomed to this that I didn't bother questioning what he was doing. I knew he had seen or heard something that typed him off to us being followed.

I went through all of the motions that we had repeated dozens upon dozens of times. The tickets were booked and the cab was called. I shut off the bathroom light and saw him standing in the living room.

"I stopped bleeding," I said quietly.

It took him two strides to get to me, and there he scooped me up into his muscular arms. "I'm so sorry we have to pick up and go when we're going through this, Ness. I promise we'll find a hotel as soon as we touch down."

Nodding my head, I leaned forward and kissed his lips. "I know." I looked at the bags that were backed and then back to him. "Did you pack the aleve?"

"I'll get it for you."

"Thank you," I murmured as he set me back on my feet.

**WITH THE CULLENS**

"Alice!" Edward growled. "Where. Are. They?"

"I don't know!" she exclaimed. "I swear I saw them here! Well…..this is where the blind spots were."

Bella placed a hand on Edward's shoulder. "I can smell them," she told him quietly. "They're still alive."

"Carlisle!" Emmett and Rose called at the same time.

Suddenly everyone was in the small bedroom. In the corner was cream colored sheets, blood smeared on one side.

"It's Nessie's blood," Edward whispered as he fell to his knees.

"The blood is older than their scent by the front door," Jasper reminded him.

"That doesn't matter!" he yelled. "My daughter could be dying right now!"

Bella wrapped her arms around him, kissing his forehead. "We're not going to stop until we find them, Edward."

Esme placed a hand on his shoulder. "We need to see if we can find anything here. They left in a rush. Something has to tip us off as to where they went."

"I'll go check the bathroom," Alice said, and Jasper went along with her.

"We'll check the kitchen," Emmett announced quietly.

Esme followed Carlisle into the living room, and Bella searched around the abandoned bedroom with Edward.

"Guys?" Alice called hesitantly.

"What is it, dear?" Esme asked as they crowded around the entrance to the bathroom.

Alice held out the trashcan in her hands. In it they could see the boxes of pregnancy tests and used sticks.

Edward's fists clenched and unclenched repeatedly. "If I ever get my hands near that dog—."

"You will owe him your life for saving your only daughter!" Bella finished quickly. A moment later a broken sob left her chest. "My baby's pregnant," she whispered.

"I—."

All eyes shifted to Carlisle.

He sighed after a moment and looked around at his family. "Those sheets looked as though if they were on the bed they'd be in the exact position to collect the blood from a miscarriage." Seeing the suddenly devastated looks his family now shared he backtracked. "I could be severely mistaken though."

"Maybe Ness just got her period when she was sleeping and they didn't have time to clean the sheets," Rose suggested weakly.

Esme squeezed her hand in sympathy. "It's very possible."

Meanwhile Edward had gone back to looking around the house with Bella. A step upon a creaky floorboard from Edward in the bedroom had Bella suddenly ripping it up.

"Bella, sweetheart, what are you—." He froze.

"She always found it amazing that when you left me you hid the gifts under the floorboards of my bedroom." Bella held up a sparkling purple journal and a bunch of letters tied together by a shoelace. She looked at the writing on the top one and her knees gave out from under her.

Edward caught her instantly and carefully sat with her on the floor. He took the letters from her shaking hands and untied the lace.

Mom

Dad

Grandpa

Grandma

Aunt Rose

Uncle Emmett

Aunt Alice

Uncle Jasper

The Denalis


	2. Chapter 2

Together the Cullen's sat on the floor around the pile of letters and the journal. One at a time they read their letters out loud.

Mom,

Oh, Mama, I don't know where on this planet you are! Every night Jake and I sit together and pray that you will find us.

I know this letter seems sloppily written compared to the last five, but we were in a rush this time. Jake said he smelt something suspicious outside and didn't want to take a chance on them finding us. It also doesn't help that we've been crying and drifting in and out of a comatose state these past few days. I had another miscarriage on Saturday. At least that's what all of the research Jake and I have been doing tells us. There isn't a doctor around who specializes in half breeds like me, so we're sort of going off of whatever can tell us.

You know that book The Little Prince? The one that you and I tried to learn together? I've finally finished it in its original language! Jake laughed at my bad interpretation of the accents, but I say I did pretty well myself.

I don't know if you've found the letters from before so I guess I'll need to catch you up. Jake and I got away safely. We went to the place you wrote down for us, but a week later we had a run in with a very...mad Volturi guard member. I don't know who she was, but I think Uncle Emmett might have called her mate during the fight. Jacob got rid of him easily. Though we knew we couldn't stay there. We've been all over this past sixteen years.

We got married too. It wasn't a wedding or anything, just at a courthouse. It took a lot of illegal documents to finally get our wedding certificate. I know you and daddy wouldn't be too happy that I got married so young, but living with Jake showed me how much I love him. We wanted things the right way. Jake even asked for everyone's blessings in one of the past letters.

Jake says we need to leave again. We're writing these letters in a rush to get them all finished and hidden before the taxi gets here. I can't write where we're going because you all might not be the people who find these in the end.

I love you, Mama. I pray I will see you soon. Stay safe.

Love,

Renesmee


	3. Chapter 3

Dad (Edward, really. Nessie still insists that I get used to calling you Dad because well you are my father-in-law now),

I swear to you that I'm keeping Nessie as safe as I possibly can. This constant moving is putting a strain on her. I can see it whenever she even sees our suitcases. I'm worried that's why she keeps miscarrying, though I would never tell her that because she'll take on all of the blame.

I don't know who was following us this time. We were sitting on the sofa when someone knocked at the front door. I told her it was probably a business man, but honestly? What business man in their right mind would come out to a tiny cabin in the middle of the woods? I'm just glad her mind was other places so I didn't have to explain that one to her.

The scent was familiar, but….it wasn't. I know it wasn't any of you or the Alaskans. I'd bet my life on that. I almost wonder if it was one of the nomads that were on our side, but I didn't want to risk Nessie's life on a wonder.

I tried to make sure that I got all of the blood cleaned up in the bedroom and bathroom, but it came between comforting Ness and cleaning. She didn't fall or cut herself. Saturday morning around nine, Nessie woke up with a bad headache and her stomach wasn't feeling quite right according to her. A few hours later she was bleeding. I wish Aleve would help with the pains she gets, but she's still human and I worry about letting her take more than the recommended dosage.

I'm taking care of her as best as I possibly can, Edward, but she needs her parents. I've lost count of how many times she's woken up in the middle of the night crying for her dad. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but I just know you guys are out there somewhere! I'm trying to keep us in one spot for as long as possible to give you the advantage, but you have to beat those scumbags to us!

Just please hurry! And you'll be proud to learn that your beautiful daughter has started learning to play Charles-Camille Saint-Saëns music. She's starting to get the hang of it.

Good luck,

Jacob


	4. Chapter 4

Grandma,

I really hope that you and Grandpa are safe. I miss you both so much my heart aches. I keep praying for the day that I will be able to see you again.

Everything hurts when I think of all of my children I've lost, Grandma. I have a new-found respect for you. You were actually able to hold your child in your hands before God decided it was time for them baby to join him in heaven. You're a stronger woman than some give you credit for. I really need you right now. I need someone who's gone through an ounce of what I'm going through. Jake's here to comfort me, but he needs comforting of his own.

I did start painting….well drawing really. I'm not good by any means. Jacob said that my painting of the Eiffle tower reminded him of Vincent Van Gough. I had to remind him that Vincent Van Gough wasn't French, but he claimed that Van Gough was just as much French as any native because he moved there and "became French". What does that even mean? He "became French"? I'm not proud to admit this, but I laughed in Jacob's face for a very, very long time.

Jake is telling me that our taxi is here. Yours was the last letter I wrote. I can't stand the thought that you're out there somewhere (hopefully trying to find us) and we have to keep moving from place to place. I know Jacob would never tell me to finish up your later fast. You really became his motherly figure, Grandma. You remind him of his own mom so much, and I know he loves you as if you were his mother.

I love you with all of my heart. Please stay safe.

Love,

Nessie


	5. Chapter 5

By the time all of the letters were read Bella was sobbing her eyes out in Edward's arms. "They're gone," she whispered.

"There has to be something here," Carlisle said over and over as he continually read his letter.

Esme put a hand on his arm and sighed. "They're just sweet letters from Nessie and Jacob. They've continued on, and if we have any chance we need to get moving."

"I didn't even read her The Little Prince!" Bella sobbed. "I've never heard of it in my life."

Edward's body froze. "What?"

"Edward, not everyone has had 80years to spend reading trillions of books," Rose snapped.

He didn't even bother to glare at her instead he pulled Bella up so she was looking him in the eyes. "You never mentioned the book, The Little Prince, to Renesmee?" he checked.

She shook her head.

He grabbed the note from Alice and then Jasper. "Christian Louboutin shoes, the war of 1812, The Little Prince, Charles-Camille Saint-Saëns….." He had the rest of the notes in his hold then. "Louis Pasteur, ours noir….."

"What does ours noir even mean?" Emmett asked quietly.

"It's French for black bear," Rose said in a whisper.

He looked down at Rosalie's letter. "Jacob didn't buy Nessie a Renault. Neither of them have jobs….unless they stole one."

"Nessie wouldn't condone to that type of thing," Jasper pointed out.

"Jacob wouldn't know that Vincent Van Gough was Dutch and moved to France," Alice said. There was a new gleam to her eyes.

"The Little Prince….. It's a French story, isn't it?" Bella inquired.

Edward nodded his head. "Louis Pasteur, Charles-Camille Saint-Saëns, and Christian Louboutin…. They're all from France."

Jasper looked up at Edward. "The war of 1812…. Could she mean the French War of 1812?"

"It's what you were talking to her about before we left for South America," Alice mumbled.

Suddenly Edward dropped to his knees in front of Alice. "Alice, please try and look. Any flights going to France. Anything involving France. Please," he begged.

She looked at him and nodded. "Just please don't get your hopes up. We could be making something out of nothing with this French stuff."

"Please, Alice," Bella pleaded.

**WITH JACOB AND RENESMEE**

The hotel room was cold and stuffy at the same time. It hadn't changed at all in the week that we'd been here. It made me want to get sick. I know we were trying to give my family a chance to find us, but I was starting to get antsy to find a house somewhere out in the middle of nowhere.

Jacob pulled me into his arms and nestled me against the warmth of his body.

"I love you," I said quietly.

He leaned down and kissed my lips. "I love you, too, honey." He flipped the small television on and flipped through a few channels before settling on some French sitcom. I tried to force myself to understand what the actors were saying, but my mind couldn't take it.

Unconsciously my left hand found its way to my stomach.

"Ness," Jacob started.

I shook my head. "I-I'm fine," I whispered. I looked around and my eyes settled on the bathroom. "Do you mind if I go take a shower?"

"Go ahead….. I could join you, if you wanted."

I rolled my eyes and placed a kiss on his cheek. "The shower isn't big enough for the both of us," I pointed out.

"There's always this nice, big bed…."

I grimaced and held back a sob. "Jake, I….I'm not—."

He nodded, and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I understand. You're not ready to do anything right now."

"Exactly."

"Go take your shower," he urged, smiling softly at me.

I had just gotten into the shower, the water fogging up the small mirror almost immediately, when Jake came in. "Are you hungry, sweetheart? I was going to order some room service."

"Yeah, a little."

"You want anything in particular?"

I thought about it for a moment and then shook my head even though he couldn't see the motion. "No. Whatever sounds good is fine by me."

I stayed in the shower until the water started running cold, forcing me to get out. I wrapped my hair up in a towel and then wrapped one around my body. "Jake?" I called.

"Yeah, babe?" I couldn't help, but notice that his voice suddenly sounded as though he had won the lottery.

"Can you get me my bag? I really don't want to leave the bathroom without my pajamas on, it's too cold out in that room."

"I already put it in there, honey," he said with a chuckle.

I looked around on the ground and noticed the small bag on top of the closed toilet lid. "I don't know how I could have missed that," I grumbled. I sat it on the ground as unzipped it.

He laughed, and I could hear the smile in his words. "Hurry up! Your food is getting cold."

I rummaged around in my bag, looking for my lotion but I couldn't find it anywhere.

"Ness, what's wrong?" he demanded as soon as the first broken sob left my chest.

"Nothing! Nothing. I'm fine!" I said quickly, trying to swipe away tears. My efforts were fruitless because he had the door open and was at arm's reach the next second. "Really, Jake. I'm fine."

He kissed my forehead, sat on the closed toilet lid and then pulled me onto his lap. "Tell me, honey. Why are you crying?"

"I can't find my lotion," I admitted quietly.

He chuckled, rubbing away tears with his thumbs as he cradled my face in his hands. "I'm sure we can find it. The hotel room is only so big, Ness. Tell me what's really bothering you, please?"

The floodgates were open then. I knew it was only a matter of time before it happened. Five miscarriages and a potentially dead family? I would be lying to myself if I said I thought I could keep it together forever. "It's not fair, Jake! Why my family? Why the pack?"

"I don't know, babe. If I did I swear I would tell you."

"Why can't I give you a baby?" I whispered suddenly. "I'm so sorry I can't give you a baby of your own, Jake. You deserve that. You deserve to have a family with someone you love."

He kissed my lips. "I love you, and one day we will have a family. Now isn't the time. We can't fight fate, Ness."

"We are fighting fate, Jacob," I mumbled. "We were supposed to die that day. I was supposed to die."

"You were not supposed to die that day, Renesmee," he said. His voice gave no room for a difference of opinions. "I will never believe that."

More tears trailed their way down my cheeks at his unwavering devotion to me. "I miss them. I miss Dad teaching me how to play the piano. I even miss Aunt Rose and Aunt Alice playing dress up with me like I was a real life doll. I miss Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper teaching me how to play baseball. I miss gardening with Grandma, and Grandpa telling me stories of his past." I looked up at him, my chest shaking with sobs by this point. "I miss Mom telling me that everything is going to be okay. I miss her tucking me into bed and telling me that she loves me," I whispered.

"Oh, Ness," he breathed. He hugged me tight to his chest. After a moment, he pulled away as if remembering something. He easily got me into my pajamas and then set me on my feet. "Come here." He took my hand, tugging me back into the cold living area. "I know, sweetheart. It's cold. I'll find you a hoodie to wear."

I started to turn around. "I have one in my bag," I mumbled weakly.

"Ness, look," he said, taking my chin in his hand and turning it towards the sofa.


	6. Chapter 6

Suddenly I felt as though I might faint.

"Renesmee," voices breathed.

"Mom! Dad!" I was caught up in their arms the next second. The cold was no longer a problem. I felt warm in their arms.

"Oh, my baby girl," Mom whispered, clutching me to her.

I was soaking her shirt with my tears, but I knew she didn't care. "Mama," I mumbled against her.

A hand was stroking my long hair and when I turned I saw Dad smiling down at me. "You're so grown up now," he said quietly.

It broke my heart to let go of Mom, but I couldn't bear not hugging him. "Daddy," I murmured, feeling safe in his arms.

"I missed you, Ness," he told me. As he spoke, he pulled Mom into the hug. "You have no idea how much."

When the tears came harder he simply held me and Mom tighter. "I love you both," I said, sniffling.

"We love you too, honey," Mom said, kissing my forehead.

"Hey, squirt. We missed you too," a familiar voice said from a few feet away.

I looked up and locked eyes with my teddy bear-like uncle. "Uncle Emmett!" I exclaimed, running into his arms.

He caught me easily, hugging me in his huge, stone cold arms. "You've grown up so much. You used to be able to sit on my shoulder." He chuckled and placed a kiss on the top of my head.

A smooth hand rubbed circles on my back and I looked up from where I was in Uncle Emmett's arms. "Hi, sweetheart," Aunt Rose said. "Long time no see."

I smiled at her, got down from Uncle Emmett's grasp, and hugged the woman who fought for my life from the very start. "Hi, Aunt Rose," I whispered.

"He better have taken excellent care of you," she said to me.

I nodded my head. "He did," I assured her. "I couldn't have asked for any better."

She looked me over and sighed softly. "You really have grown so much." She held up my left hand to look at the rings there. "Already married," she murmured.

"Well of course she's married in the legal, religious manners," a high pitched, bell-like voice said from beside me. "I can't be positive, seeing as though she's a blind spot, but I'd be willing to bet she did not walk down an aisle in a white dress."

I turned to see Aunt Alice in her pixie-like entirety grinning up at me. "You are right," I said.

"Last time we stood next to each other, you came up to my knees," she said. Her voice was raw with emotion.

"Sixteen years is a lot of time to grow a few feet," I pointed out, wiping away tears even as they fell.

She rolled her eyes and pulled me into an embrace. "You're the spitting image of your mom," she told me.

"Except for the mouth and hair," a southern voice said from behind Aunt Alice. Uncle Jasper smiled and kissed the top of my head. "Luckily your father's features look beautiful on you."

"Hey, Uncle Jasper," I said softly.

"I missed you, darling," he said in his country drawl. "It wasn't the same without you around all of the time."

Aunt Alice rolled her eyes for a second time. "Of course it wasn't the same. We've spent sixteen years chasing them around the globe."

He chuckled and gave me a hug before looking over my head. "I believe there are still two people left."

I turned around and my heart gave a squeeze. "Grandma. Grandpa," I breathed, rushing forward into their arms.

"Shh," she whispered when my sobs began again. "Don't cry, dear. Everything's alright."

For the longest time, I simply stayed in their arms and cried. I didn't trust my voice to actually speak, and my muscles ached.

"You've grown into such a beautiful, young lady," Grandpa said lovingly.

Grandma pushed back my damp hair from my face. "Why are you crying, sweetie?"

"I needed you—both so much—and now—that you're here—I can barely—talk," I said between sobs.

"We're not going anywhere, so take your time," she promised.

Jake's warm hand was on my shoulder suddenly. "Ness, you're shivering."

"I'm fine," I mumbled.

He chuckled. "Please put the hoodie on, honey. I don't want you to get sick."

I knew he was right. If there was a time when I would do anything to not get sick, it was now. I reluctantly pulled away from my grandparents, but once I had the hoodie on and Jake's hand brushed against my arm I was in his grasp. He was too warm and comforting to leave.

"Dinner will be up any minute," he said when my stomach growled.

I looked up at him sheepishly, but buried my head in his embrace. "Thank you," I whispered.

"I did nothing, beautiful."

"You kept her safe when none of us could," Mom said. I could feel her standing next to us then. "I owe you my life, Jacob."

He held me tighter, kissing the top of my head. "Your life isn't necessary…." He seemed to be debating whatever he was about to say.

"Ask, Jacob," Dad urged suddenly.

Jake sighed. "I really…. I feel bad that none of you were there to see Nessie and I get married. I….I don't know if you guys found any of those letters we kept leaving behind, but I—I." He stopped and took a breath. "It'd mean a lot if, and I know it's a little late, you all gave us your blessing."

"Of course you have it," Mom asked with a smile in her voice. "You're the best thing that ever happened to her, Jake."

"I can't believe you two are married already," Grandma whispered. "It seems like yesterday she was born."

Jake chuckled and began to say something when I shoved away from him and quickly ran to the bathroom.


	7. Chapter 7

I had already thrown up before Jake could get to me. He held my hair back as I continued to empty my stomach, rubbing constant circles on my back. "Do you need to go hunting?"

I groaned at the thought. I was too exhausted to go run around in the woods for an hour trying to find an animal. "Tomorrow."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I think it might just be PMS anyway. I've been feeling a little off all day. I should be fine to wait."

He flushed the toilet and looked at me. Concern flooded every feature on his face. "I don't know, Ness…."

I put my hand against his check, assuring him with all of my thoughts.

He sighed and looked around. "What day is it even?"

"October seventh," Mom answered from the doorway. "Is everything alright?"

"It's just PMS nausea," I answered quickly.

Jake helped me up and kissed my forehead. "That's still not right, Ness…."

"My body is still adjusting from the miscarriage," I mumbled. "I'm just a little off."

"Are you in any pain?"

I shook my head and smiled sadly at his overprotectiveness. "I promise you, I am fine." I looked at Mom and wrapped an arm around her waist as we walked back to the living area. Reaching out, I grabbed Jake's hand and tugged him. "I love you," I thought.

He smiled, placing a kiss on my hand. "I'll get you some water."

"Thank you." I sat in between Dad and Mom on the sofa, snuggling up between the both of them. "I missed you all," I said quietly.


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up in the middle of the night, pulling away from Jake's warm arms in the bed and running to the bathroom. In the living area I could see my family's attention turn from the television to me.

"Ness? Nessie, what's wrong, honey?" Jake called. His voice was still groggy from sleep.

"I'm fine! Go back to sleep, Jake!" I tried to shut the door, but he beat me to it. "Jake—."

He shook his head and kissed my forehead. "I don't want to argue. If you're just nauseous I'd rather you come back to bed and lay down with a trash can then sit in this dirty bathroom."

"No, I'm going to get sick….I think."

He opened his arms as he sat on the edge of the bathtub. I leaned against his chest, dreading the moment that I knew was going to come soon. "It's alright, honey," he murmured. He rubbed his hands up and down my back. "I'm right here."

"What if something's wrong?" I asked, looking down at him worriedly. "Maybe all of those miscarriages damaged something. Or maybe something is just wrong with my body."

"Nessie, you're worried about so many 'somethings'. Calm down. You're going to be fine. You might just be having bad PMS for all we know."

A knock on the door made me jump.

Jacob pulled me in closer. "Relax, honey. Come in!"

I turned to face whoever it was with tears streaking my face. "Hey, Grandpa."

"Not feeling well, sweetheart?" he guessed.

I shook my head and Jake pulled me onto his knee so I wouldn't have to stand with my shaking knees.

"After the other miscarriages she's been fine," Jake said quietly. "Physically," he amended. "But this one just seems different.

"Were you further along in this pregnancy than the others?" he asked.

"This time I made it to five weeks. The other times I only made it to three weeks," I answered.

"Edward's gotten the plane tickets situated," Grandma told Grandpa quietly from the doorway. "Do you mind if we pack your things?"

Jacob and I both shook our heads no.

"We're going home?"

Grandpa smoothed down my hair. "I don't want to scare you, Nessie, but there are a lot of risks with miscarriages. The fact that you've had more than one worries me too. You should have been looked at after each one to make sure everything went properly."

Jacob's grip on me went tighter.

"What you're experiencing right now could very well be PMS, but I don't think we should take that risk and stay here any longer than needed."

"And you're sure Forks is safe?" Jacob inquired.

Grandpa nodded. "I wouldn't allow either of you to go there if I thought any differently."

Jacob seemed to be itching to ask him more, and so I quietly excused myself. I grabbed my suitcase that was now on the bedroom floor and I set it on the bed. Mom hugged me from behind. "Sweetheart, why don't you go lay down? We can do this."

I turned around, looking into her golden eyes. "I'm scared, Mom," I whispered. My voice cracked on her name.

She wrapped her arms around me and held me as I cried. "It's going to be okay. Carlisle just wants to make sure you're 100% healthy, Renesmee."

"But I'm not," I said. "There's something wrong with me, Mom. Everything hurts all the time. That's not normal."

She kissed the top of my head. "We'll figure out whatever it is, I promise you."


	9. Chapter 9

When we landed at the airport in Seattle, Dad was already pointing me in the direction of the nearest bathroom. I thanked God profusely for not making me wait in a line. The bathroom was completely empty which would have scared me except Mom was there with me.

She held my hair back as I began losing the contents of my stomach in the toilet.

"How far from home are we?" I asked her suddenly.

"I'm not sure, baby girl." She rubbed my back. "I'll ask your father when we leave here, okay?"

I nodded, and flushed the toilet when I thought I was done. "I don't know how long I'll last in a car," I told her quietly.

She ran her fingers through my hair in an effort to smooth it down. "That's fine. We can pull over and get out as much as you need."

The door opened and Aunt Rose came in carrying a water bottle. "Here you go, Ness."

"Thanks." I quickly rinsed out my mouth and then drank the rest of it.

"We'll get you another one for the ride," Mom said as she tossed it in the trash can.

"Dad?" I said softly. The only light in the car was the LED dashboard, putting out a blue glow on my parents.

Uncle Emmett handed Jake a third water bottle from where he was sitting behind us with Aunt Rose.

I didn't have to wait another second before Dad had the SUV pulled over near the woods. "I've got you, Ness," Jake whispered as he pulled my hair back and kept a steadying hand on my shoulder. "We'll be home soon."

A car was suddenly parked behind ours, the sound making me jump.

Jacob wrapped me in his arms, holding me tight. "Ness, listen to me," he said. His voice was strong when he spoke. "I know you've been through so much these past few days, but I am right here. This," he gestured between us, "has not changed. I am still going to protect you from everything. So calm down, honey." He kissed the top of my head. "Relax," he whispered as my heart continued to race. His lips moved down to mine and he softly placed a kiss there. "We're going to get through this, I promise you, Nessie."

He looked at my tired face and grimaced. "You need to sleep. You're exhausted."

"What if I go to sleep and when I wake up they're gone?" I asked.

"They could be gone in the next five seconds, Nessie," he said bluntly. He stood there, looking around at the trees and mouthing 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. He looked at the cars and then back to me.

"They're still here," I mumbled.

"And they'll be here for as long as they want." He smiled at me and scooped me up into his arms. "You are becoming increasingly emotional as your need for sleep continues to grow."

I glared at him.

He chuckled, kissing my forehead. "Has the nausea passed?" When I nodded he slipped me back into the car and then got in himself.

"You okay, squirt?" Uncle Emmett asked.

I nodded my head as I wormed my way onto Jacob's lap. He wrapped his arms around me again and allowed me to nestle further into his grasp. "Sleep, my beautiful wife," he whispered. "I'm right here." He leaned against the door and pulled me closer. "I love you, Ness."

"I love you too, Jake." I allowed myself to be pulled into one of the deepest slumbers I had ever had.


	10. Chapter 10

"Jake, I—I," I stuttered.

He turned from looking at Grandpa in shock to me. "Shh," he whispered, pulling me into his embrace. "It's okay."

"Nessie, there is nothing you could have possibly done for this to have happened," Grandpa promised. "It isn't that uncommon at all, sweetheart."

After an hour of running dozens of tests, he had come to the conclusion that I had been pregnant with twins. One of the eggs hadn't completely attached itself, resulting in the miscarriage I had experienced last Saturday. The other egg…. It was still growing inside of me. Completely healthy, Grandpa assured me.

The nausea, crying spell one after the other, feeling off no matter what happened….. It all came down to being 14weeks pregnant. That was the one thing he was worried about. Because I had originally thought I had been 5weeks when I miscarried, we now had to determine if my math was off or if the baby was growing quicker than a normal baby would…..like I had.

"I need—," I stopped, and quickly left the room. I had made it to the bottom stair when Dad was taking me into his arms.

"It's alright, Ness," he murmured. "Don't cry."

My body seemed to go against what my father was saying because I soon found my body wracking with sobs.

He picked me up and brought me over to the couch next to my mother. Together they held me, wiping away sobs futilely, and whispering that everything was going to be okay over and over again. I'm not sure how long the three of us sat like that, but there came a point when Jacob came over and knelt in front of the sofa we were on.

"Nessie, honey?" he asked. "Are you going to be okay here with your parents for a few hours?"

I knew he was going to La Push. He hadn't had contact with anyone from there for sixteen years. His family and pack mates had to be missing him dearly. "Tell them I said hi," I managed to get out between cries.

He smiled sadly at me, and kissed my lips. "I won't be gone long." He looked me in the eyes for a moment and then grimaced. "I'll stay. I can go later."

I scrambled to my feet and shook my head, smearing the wet tears across my face in an effort to make them disappear. "You go ahead," I urged. "Go see your dad. I think I'm all cried out anyway. I'll probably go take a nap until you get back."

He pushed my hair back and sighed. "I hate when you try and lie to me, Nessie. You're no good at it anyway."

I took his hand from my head and held it between both of mine. "My family is here. I will be fine. Please go see them. You've given up too much for me over the years. You deserve to go see your Dad and sister."

"I'll be gone two hours top," he promised.

I kissed his lips, allowing myself to get completely wrapped up in the moment. My hand was on his check, unconsciously reminding him of the last time we allowed ourselves to get carried away.

Someone cleared their throat behind us and I remembered that we weren't alone. The blood rushed to my checks when I realized that Dad had seen everything I just showed Jake.

Jacob chuckled, taking my hand from his cheek and placing a kiss on my palm. "When I come back we can go for a walk," he whispered in my ear. His words sent shivers down my spine.

Dad growled. "Watch the thoughts, Jacob."

I rolled my eyes and stood up on my tiptoes again to give Jake a quick kiss. "Be careful. I love you."

"I love you, too." He hugged me tight, and then walked towards the back door.

At the same moment we both froze. He turned to face me again, and I stifled a sob with weak laughter. "First time in sixteen years," I said quietly.

"I—I," he stuttered. He looked around at my family around us. "You're going to be safe. They'll protect you."

I nodded. "Yeah, I know," I whispered. "What about you? You're going to be alone out there."

"We'll go," Jasper and Emmett volunteered. "We need to do a quick run around the perimeter anyway."

Jake agreed. "Until we know everything is really over."

"Hey, Jake?" I called as he opened the back door, my uncles behind him.

"Yeah, honey?"

I smiled at him, a sure and elated smile. "We'll be waiting for you."

He grinned at my hand on my stomach and looked at my family. "Please keep them safe."

Dad chuckled. "She'll be asleep in a matter of seconds, Jacob. Be safe."


	11. Chapter 11

Hey, guys! I love that so many people are reading and enjoying this story! It definitely amazes me! I really would like at least 5 more reviews before I post the next chapter though.

Thanks!


	12. Chapter 12

"Nessie," a voice said softly.

I pushed weakly against Jake's chest. "Five more minutes, Jake," I mumbled as I allowed myself to drift back into sleep.

He chuckled. "Honey, we're here."

I didn't have time to open my eyes before my door was being wrenched open.

"Nessie!" voices screamed.

I groaned, unbuckling my seat belt, and weakly climbing out. I didn't have to stand on my feet long though. I was passed from one burning hot body to another.

"Guys!" Jacob growled. "Be careful! She's not even awake yet."

I rubbed tiredly at my eyes and looked around at the people surrounding us. I recognized the youngest girl there instantly. "Claire!"

She grinned at me then, running up and hugging me tight. "I missed you so much, Nessie! I thought I would never see you again!"

"I know! Me too!"

I heard Jacob laughing behind me and I turned my head quickly to shoot a glare at him. "Do you want to sleep on the sofa tonight?" I snapped.

His face went solemn. "Sorry, babe."

"He is whipped!" a familiar voice joked.

Seth, I thought. When I glanced over sure enough there he was. He looked the same as ever, more muscle though and taller, though I could be making that up in my imagination.

"Hey, Nessie," he said, smiling. "Haven't seen you—." He didn't have a chance to finish because I was cutting off his air supply. He pulled away from the hug slightly. "Dang, you got strong!"

"Thank you," I said to him whilst still hugging away.

He chuckled. "Why are you thanking me?"

"You saved my grandma," I said as if it was the most obvious thing on the planet.

"I believe it was a team effort."

I rolled my eyes and Jacob laughed, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. "She knows everything that happened that day, Seth."

"I'm surprised the vamps didn't keep it from you," Embry joked.

I scowled at the ground. "They tried."

For the next four hours, we all sat in Emily and Sam's home. I learned that Seth had become Alpha of the pack. That would explain why he seemed bigger. Leah, Embry, and Quil were the only other members who phased.

"I still can't believe we missed each other all of those times," Quil muttered.

I looked up at Jacob in confusion. He kissed my forehead with a sad smile. "Remember when we were in Canada for a few months?" When I blushed, he chuckled. "If one of them had phased when I had then there would have been an immediate connection. We would have been able to hear each other's thoughts for sure."

Part of me wanted to be completely and utterly pissed off at him. If he had known this why hadn't he stayed as a wolf for long periods of time? The more logical side knew that Jake had thought, along with me, that his pack mates had been killed in the fight with the Volturi.

"We can't change the past," I said quietly.

He nodded in agreement, and pulled me closer.

I got to meet Emily and Sam's daughters, Josephine and Mackenzie; Paul and Rachel's kids, Alexa, Ryan, and Billy Jr; and Kim and Jared's son, Kyle.

Claire glanced at my stomach that Jacob was keeping a protective hand on. "I can't believe you two are married and having a baby," she mumbled.

Rachel smiled. "How far along are you?"

"Fourteen weeks," I answered.

"It gets easier," Emily promised. "The first five weeks were hell. At least for me, they were."

Rachel nodded in agreement. "I was worried I would miscarry."

Suddenly it felt too hot in the small house. I pulled away from Jacob's arms and excused myself quickly. Once on the front porch I let the chilly Washington air wash over me.

**JACOB**

"I—I," Rachel stuttered, looking from the front door to Jake. "Did I—?"

I ran my hands over my face. "No, Rach. It's just…." I sighed heavily and debated if I had given Nessie enough time outside yet. "Nessie's miscarried four pregnancies already," I admitted finally.

Her eyes widened along with everyone else's. "Jake, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

I nodded, glancing at the door. "She was pregnant with twins this time," I said, knowing it was easier on everyone if all the information was out in the open. "She miscarried one of them a week ago."

Rachel squeezed her eyes shut. "I am so, so sorry," she whispered.

"It's fine," I assured. "You had no way of knowing." I looked back to the door and then got to my feet. "She needs her rest. We'll come by soon."

"Jake, how….how long until she's in the safe zone?" Emily asked quietly.

"Carlisle said we have to take it day by day," I said truthfully. "Her body could reject the pregnancy at any moment."

I felt a small hand squeeze mine, and when I looked down it was Rachel. "You guys will have a baby," she said. "You both deserve it."

"Jake, I'm not feeling very well," Nessie said in a small voice from the doorway.

I was at her side in two strides, taking her delicate face in my hands. "What's wrong?"

"I'm really dizzy," she admitted. "I think I need to see Grandpa."

"I'll get our stuff. You go get in the car." I handed her the small, black cell phone Edward had given me when we left the house. "Call Carlisle and tell him, okay?"

She nodded, turned, and left the house.

"We can't catch one damn break," I growled, grabbing the car keys. I looked around for Nessie's coat, but when I couldn't find it, I looked to Sam. "If you find her coat, let me know."

_Please let Nessie and the baby be okay_, I prayed as I ran out of the house to the car.


	13. Chapter 13

**AUTHORS NOTE-Hi, guys! I wanted to say thanks for the support of this story! It means so much that so many of you are reading this and enjoying it! I know it's been a while since I posted a new chapter, so here you guys go. Also, I have 3 other stories, so please please please please check them out and review!**

After an hour of Grandpa running many tests on me and the baby, I collapsed onto the sofa in the living room as my eyes began to droop from lack of sleep. Jake allowed me to nestle my way against his side. He was unusually stiff, and I knew that was a sign that he was completely anxiety-ridden.

Grandpa kissed the top of my head and smiled at me. "You and the baby are fine," he assured.

Jacob let out a breath that I knew he had been holding in for a minute and seven seconds. "Oh, thank you, God," he mumbled, rubbing his face with his hands.

"Your blood pressure was a little high," he continued. "You've been constantly moving around though, so that is most likely to blame."

"Okay," I mumbled with a sigh.

Aunt Alice smiled at me. "Do you want to see what we got at the store earlier?" she asked eagerly.

I stifled a small laugh and nodded. I allowed her and Aunt Rose to pull me up the stair case and to the bedroom next to mine.

Aunt Rose pushed me gently to sit down on the cream colored rocking chair. "Your father will kill me if I let you stand."

I rolled my arms, but I knew she was right. I spent the next hour in that room, watching as they pulled dozens upon dozens of outfits out of shopping bags. "We don't even know if it's a boy or a girl," I pointed out.

"We're going to donate whatever doesn't get used," Aunt Alice assured me.

"Of course because it'd be too hard to just buy what is needed." I got up from the chair. "I have to pee. I'll be back."

"Hurry back! We haven't showed you the mobile we found."

I laughed with a smile. "I wouldn't want to miss that." I made it into the hallway when I felt the first ache. I brushed it off. _You're overreacting_, I told myself. A few more steps and then it turned to a stabbing pain. "Jacob!" I yelled. My voice broke though.

Before he was there, Dad and Grandpa were at my side.

"Come on, sweetheart," Dad said, guiding me up the stairs to Carlisle's office where I had been earlier in the day getting tests run.

By the time I was laying down on a hospital bed and Carlisle was looking for a heartbeat, Jacob was at my side. "What's wrong?" he asked, his eyes looking frantic. The minute they settled on me realization set it. "Oh no," he whispered. He squeezed my hand and looked up at Dad who was staring intently on Grandpa. "Edward?"

Dad let out a breath unconsciously before looking between Jacob and me. "I'm sorry, Nessie," he said, stroking my cheek. "There is no heartbeat."

It took less than two seconds for darkness to completely take me over.


	14. Chapter 14

When I woke up I was in my bed with Jacob's arms wrapped around me. "I'm right here," he whispered. "I am right here."

It only took me a second to realize what was wrong. The piercing pains throughout my reproductive organs reminded me that, before I passed out, my baby had died. "Jacob," I sobbed, clutching his shirt in my hands as I pulled myself closer.

He rubbed my back. "Don't move too much, honey. I don't want you in any more pain than you have to be." As much as he tried to hide it, I knew he was crying with me. I could hear the small sobs he was trying to conceal.

"It's not fair," I managed to get out between cries.

He kissed the top of my head. "I know, Nessie, I know."

"There's nothing you can do?" Esme asked for the umpteenth time.

Carlisle sighed, squeezing her hand tight. "I can only let nature take its course," he said quietly. "I don't want pain medicine to interfere with her systems right now."

When Nessie's sobs started to get progressively louder, Jake began speaking again. "Shh, it's okay, Ness. It'll get better, honey, it will. Don't worry about that, Nessie. I will clean it up."

"Edward, please," Bella begged.

He grimaced, pulling her into his arms. "I wish there was something I could do, love."

Rose came into the house with Emmett then, carrying a few bags. The two of them winced as Nessie's moans from the pain became louder.

"You're okay, Ness," Jacob said softly. "It won't last long, honey. I'm right here. I promise you I won't leave. Yes, I do. Hey. Ness? I love you, honey."

"How long…." Emmett asked quietly.

"It could last up to a week," Carlisle answered.

Rose looked at Emmett's eyes and knew that he couldn't stay here all night. They would have to leave for Alaska and stay there with Jasper and Alice until Nessie stopped bleeding. "Does Jacob need anything?" Rosalie asked Edward.

He shook his head at his sister. "We'll call as soon as—."

She gave him a sympathetic nod, set the bags of pads next to the sofa he and Bella were on, and took Emmett's hand, going back to the garage they had just come from.

"No, I got you, Ness," Jacob said suddenly. "I don't want you walking."

Everyone listened as the bed shifted, feet walked across the floor, and then the bathroom door opened and closed. Within seconds they could hear Nessie throwing up.

Edward grabbed Bella's hand to keep her from getting up. "As much as it pains me to stay down here, we have to."

"That's my daughter, Edward," she growled.

"That's Jacob's wife, Bella," he whispered.

Her face softened and she collapsed back into his side.

It had been four days of the worst cramps I had ever experienced. Jacob cradled me against his chest, whispering sweet-nothings in my ear.

A knock on the door pushed me out of my trance. Grandpa opened it slowly and then gave me a small smile. "How are you feeling, Ness?"

"I stopped bleeding and the cramps are gone," I said simply.

If my tone confused him, he didn't let on. "We need to do an ultrasound to make sure all of the tissue was passed," he said. "Do you think you're up for it today? We can wait and do it tomorrow."

"Today is fine."

Once in the office, I laid down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. I could feel the depression already looming over me.

Jacob squeezed my hand, and laid a kiss on my forehead. "Nessie?"

_I'm sorry, but I can't do this again_, I thought.

I watched as his eyes gave away his pain, and then his understanding. He nodded his head. "It's okay," he whispered.


	15. Chapter 15

**A****UTHOR'S NOTE- Hi, guys! Towards the end of this chapter the point of view switched back and forth. When I was writing it, I was writing it from the point of view of whoever I felt would be most effected by the words being spoken (if that makes any sense at all). PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE review! It only takes a few seconds to do, and it means so very much!**

**-Sam**

"Nessie, I don't care!" I yelled.

"Well I do, Jacob!" she snapped. "If you would clean your damn side of the sink when you were done we wouldn't have this problem!"

I glared at her. "It was one tiny dot of toothpaste that I missed this morning! You've never freaked out before!"

"You're the one who brought it up!" she shouted.

I took a deep breath. You don't want to fight, I reminded myself. This is just her hormones rebalancing themselves. Just apologize, kiss her forehead, and walk out of the room. Looking at her, with her hands on her hips, staring me down had me sighing. "Nessie, I'm—."

"Just get out, Jacob!" she exclaimed.

"I don't want to fight with you, Nessie, but you're making it really hard!"

"Then leave! Go rant to your pack about me! I don't care what you do! Just. Get. Out!" She slammed the door in my face once she had successfully shoved me out of the bedroom.

I heard her collapse onto the bed, pulling the covers over her head to hide her sobs. My heart was ordering me to open the door and go inside the room and comfort her, but I fought against it. I walked down the grand staircase to the living room where the others were.

"Can I get you something to eat?" Esme asked me.

"No, thank you though, Esme," I said, rubbing my eyes with my hands. "Why does she have to be so damn frustrating?" I muttered.

"Her hormones will return to normal soon," Edward told me. He sighed, his eyes glancing to the ceiling. "The lack of sleep is catching up with her too."

My hands clenched into fists as I fought with the ripping sensation in my body. Ignoring the rational part of my brain, I ran back up the stairs and pushed the bedroom door back open.

"Go away, Jacob!" Nessie yelled.

I ignored her suddenly weak attempts at protest as I climbed into the bed and pulled her into my arms. "Stop pushing me away," I said. "We've gone through this together before."

"I don't care. It's different this time."

I looked down at her, wondering what she could possibly mean. "Why?"

"Because I'm not doing this again, Jacob. This was our last shot at having a baby! Don't you understand that?"

"I do, honey, I do."

"Then why aren't you mad?"

"I would love to have a baby with you, but in the end it's your body and your decision. I won't force you either way."

I got up, pulling away from his arms. I swiped at the traitor tears. "I want a baby, Jacob!" I exclaimed suddenly. "But it hurts so damn much! Never mind the fact that I've allowed six of our babies to die inside me. You've never had blood clots be expelled from your body! You've never had stomach ripping cramps! You just don't get what I keep going through time after time!"

"You're right," he said quietly. "I don't know. But I'm going through stuff each time too, Nessie. They're my children, too."

And then she started sobbing. I thought she cried her hardest when she was miscarrying a week ago….. I had never seen this side of Nessie before. I quickly scrambled to my feet to catch her before her knees could give out.

"Shh, Nessie, shh," I murmured. "I'm sorry. I don't want to fight with you, honey."

"I'm tired of feeling like this all of the time, Jacob," she admitted when she got a grip on the tears. "I hate crying all of the time. I hate this depression I keep falling into. I don't want to live like this, Jake."

I hugged her closer to my chest. "You don't have to, beautiful. I'll help you with whatever you need. I just want you to be happy." I kissed the top of her head and pulled her chin up so she was looking me in the eyes. "We'll figure this out, Nessie. We have sixteen years behind us."

"I love you," she whispered, swiping at tears as they fell.

"I love you, too, my beautiful wife." I leaned down and placed a kiss against her lips.

We would get through this, I told myself. We fought too hard to let our world crash down. Somehow the two of us would get our lives back on track.


	16. Chapter 16

Jake said nothing, instead opening his arms to me when he saw me coming into the living room. I slipped onto his lap and curled up against his warm chest.

"Did you want some breakfast, honey?" Mom asked quietly.

I didn't mean to ignore her, but I didn't want to speak either. It was suddenly becoming much harder to act like I was used to having so many people around Jake and I. It was times like this when all I wanted to do—.

"I think we're going to just go lay down upstairs for a while, Bells," Jake told her as he stood. He held me firmly in his arms.

She nodded, wringing her hands together. "Let me know if you need anything."

It wasn't until we were lying down on our bed that I finally relaxed my muscles. He sighed, running his hands through my hair. "I love you, Ness," he whispered.

I wiggled under the blankets and waited until he was under them too before moving against him. I pressed my face against his chest as his arms enveloped me. The two of us lay curled up before there was a knock on the door.

I groaned when he pulled away, and that was all it took. I snapped. I was on my feet, yelling about how much I hated living in this house and that I wanted alone time already.

He reached out and quickly had his arms around me again. "I know, I know, babe," he assured.

"There's just so much going on all the time," I whispered. "It makes my head spin to hear so many voices, Jake. I should be ecstatic that I have my family again, and all I can think is how confusing everything is."

"It makes my head spin, too, Ness. And, no, I'm not just saying that to make you feel better, babe. It's going to takes us a while to get back into things, but it's worth it…right, love?"

I nodded. "Right," I murmured.

He picked me back up and carefully placed me under the covers. "You stay here, and I will be right back. We'll find stay in bed and watch TV all day, okay?"

"Okay."

****Third Person Point of View****

Jake walked down the steps to the living room. The Cullen's sat there, tense and worried. He sighed, tugging on his short hair. "Look, it's not your fault. Didn't we all know something like this would happen?"

"She's not happy here," Bella said quietly. "She's not happy and it's my fault. I just want my daughter back, and I'm pushing her away."

"Bells, you're not," he assured her. "Ness and I have been alone together for sixteen years. Neither of us is used to having any other people around us so much. Losing the babies again puts a strain on her, too. You're just going to have to give us some time, especially for Nessie."

Edward wrapped his arm around her waist when she sighed, nodding.

"What if we go out hunting tonight?" Emmett suggested.

Jacob shrugged. "You guys don't have to. We're just going to stay upstairs for a while and watch some TV."

Edward glanced at Carlisle and then nodded. "Some of us will go out for the night, so it'll be quiet around here."

Soft footsteps garnered everyone's attention.

Nessie smiled shyly. "I'm just getting a glass of water," she murmured. When she came back, she molded into Jake's side, resting her head against his chest.

He kissed the top of her head. "Find anything good on?"

She wrinkled her nose as they started up the stairs. "Lots of family stuff. The food network is always available, though…"

He chuckled. "You know I don't have a problem with that."

They made it up two steps before Nessie stopped moving.

"Ness?" Jake asked. "What's wrong, babe?"

She shook her head, glancing back at Bella with a smile. "Nothing. I just…I was just remembering something...from before."

He grinned and took her hand once more.


End file.
